Boundaries are what honors you – all of you and it can be a challenge to set up your own boundaries but for you to have healthy relationships with yourself and others – setting and maintaining those boundaries takes time and practice.
It means you are aware and know your limits.
Here are some examples of when you are struggling with healthy boundaries
- Saying yes when you want to say no
- Feeling guilty when you say no
- Going against your own values to please
- Not speaking up when someone impedes your boundary
- Not sharing thoughts & feelings or opinions when you have something to say
- Accepting sex and physical touch when you don’t want it
- Allowing others to say and do things that make you uncomfortable
All of those won’t feel good and impact your personal, emotional, mental and spiritual health. They leave you lost, frustrated, confused about who you are, afraid of taking action and even lack of control over your own life.
So how exactly can you begin to honor yourself?
- Mindset – Acknowledge that having boundaries is not only okay but they are healthy to have
- Identify and name your limits – think about times you didn’t feel so good about a situation or person. Include your values, belief system, and outlook and acknowledge what does feel good.
- Share with others about your boundaries. Have a conversation about what feels good and what you can’t tolerate. Share with them how they may have made you feel.
- Be willing to give yourself permission to feel fear and self-doubt and acknowledge that people around you may not respond well. And be willing to accept that it is okay. Maintaining your boundaries is connected to your self-respect.
- Self-Care is and should be your priority. Allow yourself to put you first. This includes seeking support when you have a hard time with boundaries.
It’s okay to not have it all figured out and take small steps. One Boundary, one person at a time. And let’s remember that boundaries are not here to cage you in, nor isolate you. When you’re ready to set up your own boundaries keep in mind they are meant for you to honor yourself!