Emotional Boundaries are the distinction and awareness between ourselves and others. They allow us to discriminate between our own and another’s feelings.

Emotional Boundaries help us to have healthy relationships and avoid those that try to keep us in the negative space. When you feel icky about someone’s words or even their presence become aware that you are protecting your self-esteem.

It is a lot easier to notice one owns discomfort than someone else’s. Observing someone to take a step back, having a lack of eye contact, change the subject or give your short and clipped answers can mean that their boundaries are being challenged.

Emotional Boundaries can be overstepped if we listen too much to what others say and allow that to get to the heart. They will make you feel bad about yourself in some way. At the same time, if we are not aware and always speak unfiltered without care, we may to overstep emotional boundaries ourselves.

I once had a situation in which someone told my story and it was in complete violation of my values. It felt rude and disrespectful, even though it was not done in a malicious way. It was also challenging to explain why I felt violated and it comes down to that no one has the right to tell your story but yourself. We don’t lay want to share everything with everyone encounter. I for one am guided by my intuition of what I will or will not share. Relationships take the time to build and this includes learning or noticing someone else’s boundaries.

Having a good awareness of self and sense of worth allows us to engage in a flexible vulnerable balance of communication and interaction.

The challenge can be that we may feel guilty for saying “NO” but here’s the thing, you are not responsible for someone else’s feelings. Saying no isn’t attack or something that should make you feel guilty when it is to help you maintain your worth and healthy relationships.

Emotional boundaries maintain our own emotional freedom and the way we choose to feel about someone or something.

So, next time you notice that you are not feeling so good about a person or space, ask yourself why. Explore the feelings associated with the person, situation or space and identify what values may have been violated.
I will talk more about boundaries in future posts – so stay tuned!
 

Petra Monaco

Petra Monaco

The Rebels Den

Petra Monaco is a published author, coach, mom and breaks the status quo for fun. As a foster kid, she knows the challenges and excuses people make as she rewrote her own story and then worked her way through to become a Master's level therapist. However, after watching her son fight for his life due to a rare genetic disorder and three liver transplants, she now coaches creatives and multi-passionates to stop waiting for “one day” and the “perfect moments’. Petra helps you dive deeply into the heart of things in order to discover your next steps, inspires you to set up your own personal framework so you can break free from fear, doubt, and overwhelm so you can start creating the life you want now. Petra uses her personal story to inspire and motivate people into doing the work they need to do to create change because she believes that your excuses are just avoidance. You can have the cake and eat it too if you're willing to show up for it!
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