The ability to let go and forgive is vital to the pursuit of happiness. If you are continually thinking about what you or others did wrong and never learn to forgive yourself or others, you are planning a life of regret and disappointment. Instead, prepare for a life of joy and happiness by learning how to let go and forgive.

  1. What is forgiveness anyway?

First, you must truly understand what forgiveness is, in the first place, to allow yourself this kind of freedom. Often than not, most don’t know the true meaning of forgiveness.

Just because you forgive yourself or someone else doesn’t mean the other isn’t to blame, or you don’t need to recognize responsibility. Forgiving has nothing to do with any of that. Forgiving is the act of releasing yourself from whatever emotions you are feeling towards the action, such as pain or resentment.

  • Use mistakes as learning moments.

If you are having a hard timing learning how to forgive yourself for past mistakes, then try to change your mindset. Instead of being mad at yourself, use these moments to learn.

Acknowledge the mistake out loud and tell yourself why you made a mistake. Maybe it was a lack of planning or knowledge that caused the problem. As you gather information, you’ll see that the error was only bound to happen, and now you can prevent it from happening again.

Maybe as you investigate, you will discover that the mistake was never under your control in the first place, and there was no way around it. Unfortunately, you may even learn that you could have prevented it and now must take full responsibility.

It may not be comfortable to learn that, but the more you avoid your position in the matter, the more you will waste your time dwelling on it and not letting it go.

  • Allow time and feel your pain.

Give yourself time to be upset but give it a time limit. Don’t ignore what happened or what mistake you may have made. This won’t allow you to heal. You need to own up to it or understand why you are holding on to it so much.

Understand that this will take time. No one has the perfect answer right away, and it may take you weeks or years to fully recover, but that is okay. Life is like that. Don’t create unnecessary stress when it is not needed and will only lead to self-sabotage.

  • Know that you will mess up.

Be prepared to fail, and even more importantly, let yourself fail. Humans are predisposed to make mistakes, and it is only natural. Perfectionism is not real. If you didn’t make a mistake and you are dwelling on other people, realize they may not have done it on purpose and may have lacked information too.

No one goes through life without making mistakes. In fact, if you don’t make mistakes, likely, you are not learning or progressing in life.

  • Consult a therapist or life coach.

If you are having problems letting go and forgiving yourself or others – and this fact is affecting your daily life – preventing you from achieving the success you deserve, don’t be afraid to seek advice from a therapist or life coach.

They will provide guidelines to help you truly understand why you are struggling to let go and forgive so that you can move on.

Keep these tips in mind if you are struggling with learning to let go and forgive. It all starts with a willingness to forgive as well as knowing how to truly forgive. Once you have the knowledge and work to get it done, nothing is stopping your way to satisfaction in life.

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Petra Monaco

Petra Monaco

Create the Life You Want + Make an Impact while you're at it!

Petra Monaco is a published author, coach, mom and breaks the status quo for fun. As a foster kid, she knows the challenges and excuses people make as she rewrote her own story and then worked her way through to become a Master's level therapist. However, after watching her son fight for his life due to a rare genetic disorder and three liver transplants, she now coaches creatives and multi-passionates to stop waiting for “one day” and the “perfect moments’. Petra helps you dive deeply into the heart of things in order to discover your next steps, inspires you to set up your own personal framework so you can break free from fear, doubt, and overwhelm so you can start creating the life you want now. Petra uses her personal story to inspire and motivate people into doing the work they need to do to create change because she believes that your excuses are just avoidance. You can have the cake and eat it too if you're willing to show up for it!
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