The worst life advice I was ever given
Don’t be afraid to be a non-conformist and unapologetically stay true to yourself. But be careful th
One of the character traits I love about myself is my optimism. If you have a dream and you do the work, I believe it will in fact become your reality. The other one I love about me is that I am a huge dreamer and that means I at times come across as walking in the clouds without a foot on the ground.
When I was in my mid-twenties, I shared those dreams.
- I wanted to be self-employed – to make art but also support and help people.
- I wanted to travel and be location independent.
- I wanted a house but not in a white picket fence kind of a way
And the advice I received was: You can’t have the cake and eat it too you have to be realistic.
And it was and remains the worst advice I’ve ever received because in the years since that conversation I learned that your life can be whatever the hell you want it to be and it doesn’t have to look like anyone else’s – ever.
You can if you choose go to college, get a job and work at it for 40+ years, retire and hope that you can then do the things you’ve been putting off because that’s what you were taught to believe was how you are supposed to live your life.
Or you can decide that this isn’t really for you and that you could decide on a career or business, do all the things you want to do now well into your retirement. In essence, you can have the cake and it eat it too much sooner.
It took me 5 years to discover this little nugget. 5 years to realize that I don’t have to conform to the beliefs of others on how to live life. 5 years to play small and never take action on any of my dreams.
It’s been 10 years since I forged my own path, dismantling my own thought patterns, self-sabotaging behaviors and getting clear on exactly what I want be, do and have in this life.
But it starts with acknowledging what you want and giving yourself permission to go after it – even if other people think you’ve completely lost your mind in the process. Even if other people are afraid to take the risks and are not willing to invest in themselves.
And it’s been interesting because even when I started my business I was given advice on how to run my business, how to discover my clients and how to make the big bucks.
And everything about it felt wrong in every fiber in my being. And so I struggled in life and business for awhile – and I am grateful. I believe that the struggle and frustration we experience can and will actually lead us to the answers we often seek on how to be, do and have the life we want.
A few years ago, I started writing out the vision I have for a single year. Starting with December 31 and then writing out all the things I’ve achieved in that year as if they had already happened.
It was my turning point in how to show ups in life and in my business. And while I still had a ton of internal work to do, it was the beginning of really understanding and knowing how I wanted to live my life and how I wanted to run my business.
It was acknowledging that in order to move forward an investment in myself and coaching/mentoring had to occur but I had to be very clear on the purpose of each investment in the process by asking what is the desired outcome I am trying to achieve and how will x, y or z help me get there.
And here is where I am today because of the worst life advice:
- I am an entrepreneur helping + supporting people, creating art, and writing books.
- I go to 3-4 Festivals a year – this is my travel and gives me the freedom I want to feel.
- I live in a house that even though it requires a ton of work still, give me the space to create and live in.
- I get to volunteer my time to help people take better care of themselves
lovewho I am and do the things that feel good.
This is 10+ doing the work and continuing doing the work from the inside out because that is where it begins.
So how do you know where to begin the work?
Set a goal.
The thoughts and self-sabotaging behaviors that get in the way of achieving that goal will rear their ugly heads.
And you need to address them if in fact you are committed to achieving your goal – whatever this goal is. This could be starting a business, writing a book or just getting healthier physically.
Each goal will come with new challenges – it’s the new level new devil kind of a situation. And every time you will need to ask yourself how committed you are to this new level of being.
And here’s the thing, sometimes the worst life advice can actually be the best thing you’ve heard because it will tell you exactly where you stand in that moment and time.
The advice I was given 15 years ago is exactly the reason I do what I do today.
And I can’t tell you what you need right now or if The Gathering is the right investment for you – all I can do is share it with you and let you know I am here to support you in your journey.