It’s true in the past, I’ve been an overachiever and people pleaser, just so that someone would validate my very own existence. Validating yourself comes from doubting one’s own ability due to some negative thoughts and experiences that we think we needed to own more than anything else.

I also think that sometimes we think validation is unhealthy and should not be something to go after, but the honesty, it’s in part healthy and quite normal. However, recognizing that validating ourselves is all we need to overcome self-doubt and all the negative beliefs we have about ourselves.

And yes, there is something you can do without seeking external influences to feel good

  1. Use “I am” statements to support yourself and acknowledge what you do know to be true about you.
  2. Connect with people by checking on their own well-being or meet them for coffee. You validate yourself by simply being a friend to someone.
  3. Write yourself a love note when you feel the need to be validated by someone else. Write what you want the other person to say to you so you can learn to be there for yourself.
  4. Acknowledge and honor your feelings. You have a right to feel whatever and however, you want. This will help you get unstuck and feel inspired to move forward.
  5. Don’t be afraid to ask yourself what it is you need right now and allow intuition to answer. Perhaps you need to journal, nap or exercise. When you act on your needs, you are validating yourself in the process.

Validation is not flawed, it is a way for us to grow and move us forward to be exactly the kind of person we want and chose to be. Therefore, when we can validate ourselves we acknowledge the self-doubt that has lingered but is able to acknowledge that the doubt we hung onto is unnecessary when we have so much to give.

I would love to hear from you some other ways you might be able to validate yourself – just a thought in the comments!

Petra Monaco

Petra Monaco

The Rebels Den

Petra Monaco is a published author, coach, mom and breaks the status quo for fun. As a foster kid, she knows the challenges and excuses people make as she rewrote her own story and then worked her way through to become a Master's level therapist. However, after watching her son fight for his life due to a rare genetic disorder and three liver transplants, she now coaches creatives and multi-passionates to stop waiting for “one day” and the “perfect moments’. Petra helps you dive deeply into the heart of things in order to discover your next steps, inspires you to set up your own personal framework so you can break free from fear, doubt, and overwhelm so you can start creating the life you want now. Petra uses her personal story to inspire and motivate people into doing the work they need to do to create change because she believes that your excuses are just avoidance. You can have the cake and eat it too if you're willing to show up for it!
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