Whether we like to admit it or not, other people’s opinions of us really do matter. The opinions we have of ourselves, matters even more. Think about this for a minute. What separates the haves from the have-nots? Nothing, but your own fear and insecurities.

It has been said many times that Americans love a winner and that nobody remembers who came in second. I mean let’s think about it, you can’t win the lottery without buying a ticket – you have to meet yourself halfway if you want to achieve your goals and that means facing the stories that try to get in the way.

Wishing for things to be true isn’t enough. You need to take a gamble on yourself, a leap of faith if you will, and you will learn that the only difference between the haves and the have-nots is the overcoming and mastering of these fears.

Nothing comes your way without effort. I’m from the school of thought that if you didn’t earn it, it won’t mean as much to you as if you did. It may take you several attempts before you find just the right combinations of things that work for you. Just because the first couple or so didn’t work out mean that you’re a loser it means you’re a doer, someone who’s willing to go out on a limb, someone who’s confident in there ability to stand and deliver when things may rise up against you.

These are the real winners not because they necessarily succeed but because they tried.

It took me a really long time to recognize that I am already successful and often times it comes down to gaining a different perspective. For the longest time I would refer to myself as a foster kid reject and then of course blame everyone a life that sucked – until one day I realized that I am alive (success), I graduated high school (success), I have two college degrees (success), I raised my children (success) and every day I get to do what I love and am passionate about – helping people achieve their goals and create art (success).

So you see, success and being a winner is always about perspective.

Sometimes when going after a goal, you will have your fair share of nay sayers because they cannot see what you see, they don’t feel or believe the way you do. Be mindful of not becoming one of them that says I can’t do this or that!

I once believed I couldn’t write books (I wrote 5) or that I can make money in a business (I do every month)!!

Don’t ever give up or cave in to outside pressures or you will always be asking yourself what if and I wonder. No one ever looses who honestly tries. If you have a dream or vision for yourself, you owe it to yourself to a least try. In my experience most of the people I know who have been the nay sayers are those who have settled for second best or have given up altogether.

When you are clear on your goal and have a plan you will also need:

  • Desire
  • Ambition
  • Drive
  • A willingness to succeed
  • The ability to see loss as a stepping stone to success
  • Ditch other peoples opinions

The only thing that can get in your way from realizing the dream is YOU coupled with your uncanny ability to shoot yourself in the foot. We have no enemies in but ourselves and those nasty little voices we carry around that tell us we are failures.

The late great football coach Vince Lombardy was asked by a sport reporter about a loss his team had just suffered. The Coach replied; we didn’t lose, we just ran out of time.

Tell yourself something long enough and you begin to believe it. Have other people tell you something long enough you’ll not only believe it, but you’ll magnify it as well! You do not have to know everything there is to know. Surround yourself with those who can bring to the table what you need in order to achieve your goals.

Other people’s opinions do not matter when it comes to doing life + business YOUR way.

Failure and defeat provide the fire we need to forge our will to achieve success. So rather than let defeat beat us down or call us a loser, embrace it, welcome it as a teacher and then move on never forgetting the lesson learned.

Your opinion of being a loser is only true if you believe you’re as loser. And if you read this far, then I am here to tell you that you are not a loser. You just haven’t found a different way of looking at things nor tried to do things differently. Let’s work together and make something happen!

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Petra Monaco

Petra Monaco

The Rebels Den

Petra Monaco is a published author, coach, mom and breaks the status quo for fun. As a foster kid, she knows the challenges and excuses people make as she rewrote her own story and then worked her way through to become a Master's level therapist. However, after watching her son fight for his life due to a rare genetic disorder and three liver transplants, she now coaches creatives and multi-passionates to stop waiting for “one day” and the “perfect moments’. Petra helps you dive deeply into the heart of things in order to discover your next steps, inspires you to set up your own personal framework so you can break free from fear, doubt, and overwhelm so you can start creating the life you want now. Petra uses her personal story to inspire and motivate people into doing the work they need to do to create change because she believes that your excuses are just avoidance. You can have the cake and eat it too if you're willing to show up for it!
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