The way you look at your life is what will either lead to happiness or it won’t. If you are consumed by negative beliefs or assumptions, you will find yourself being unhappy all the time. And then your perception will become your reality. A negative mindset tends to cloud your judgment, making it hard to tell if the negative thoughts you are experiencing are outside yourself or inside your psyche.

I used to think I had a pretty good mindset until I really explored it and dived into personal development. And it’s amazing how my underlying thoughts, in fact, sabotaged me more than anything and that my behavior kept in that negative state of mind.

You Constantly Focus on Everything That’s Wrong

If you are always fixating your attention on the disappointments and worries in your life, this is a sure indication that your mindset is tainted with negativity. To begin to change this mindset, take some time to think about those things in your life that you are thankful for because it will help keep the negative thoughts from completely overwhelming your perspective. It’s a bit more than this though. It’s about forgiving yourself and then give compassion to the situations. You can’t ever do more than your best and if you know that you’ve always done your best, then it’s time to let go of those moments.

You Won’t Face the Truth

Complaining about reality won’t change it. Relentlessly complaining, is ultimately your refusal to acknowledge and accept the truth. There are things in your life that you just can’t change that much is true. But there is plenty of things you can change and it starts being honest with yourself. This may be the hardest part because you’ll want to judge yourself ruthlessly but again give yourself some compassion, and take responsiblity for yourself.

You Become Angry When Your Expectations Aren’t Met

Your expectations are a large part of your mindset. They are what you believe to be necessary and possible. If you are always angry that the people in your life, or when even you yourself, are not meeting expectations, it means that your expectations were unrealistic, to begin with. Our expectations are what lay the groundwork for our experiences, and if we have unrealistic expectations, we will never be satisfied with our life. And I invite you to do deeper… back into your childhood and look at the times your expectations weren’t met as a child. It’s time to heal those things. I was angry for a seriously long time with everything and everyone. But the truth of the matter is that my expectations couldn’t have been met and I had to find a way to heal my inner child.

You See Yourself as a Victim

Continually seeing yourself as a victim, hinders your ability to change things and build a better life for yourself. This victim mentality is generally a by-product of low self-esteem. The only way to change this mindset is by deciding to reject the victim role and start creating something better for yourself. Listen, I am an abuse and rape survivor, and I blamed everyone for those things. And that worked until I was an adult. After that, it was time that I started to refuse to allow my past and the things done to me to control me. And a new story started to emerge.

So look at what is going right, face yourself with honesty, know your expectations and be prepared that others may not meet them and then take ownership of your life one dream + one goal at a time.

Play + Dream Bigger.



Change your mindset is one of the most powerful things you can do for yourself. The Rebels Den “The Gathering” has the tools and resources to help you in your journey.

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Petra Monaco

Petra Monaco

Create the Life You Want + Make an Impact while you're at it!

Petra Monaco is a published author, coach, mom and breaks the status quo for fun. As a foster kid, she knows the challenges and excuses people make as she rewrote her own story and then worked her way through to become a Master's level therapist. However, after watching her son fight for his life due to a rare genetic disorder and three liver transplants, she now coaches creatives and multi-passionates to stop waiting for “one day” and the “perfect moments’. Petra helps you dive deeply into the heart of things in order to discover your next steps, inspires you to set up your own personal framework so you can break free from fear, doubt, and overwhelm so you can start creating the life you want now. Petra uses her personal story to inspire and motivate people into doing the work they need to do to create change because she believes that your excuses are just avoidance. You can have the cake and eat it too if you're willing to show up for it!
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