Chances are good that you would like to lessen your complaining and grow your contentment but have you ever considered how others perceive your complaining? Once you know some of the effects this can have on your reputation, you will probably be more motivated to make a change. Let’s take a look at how others perceive your complaining so that you can use that information to propel you toward your goals.

Puts People on the Defensive

Hearing you complain frequently is apt to put people on the defensive. This is especially true if you’re complaining about them, but it also comes into play when you’re criticizing anyone else. Those hearing your complaints may start to wonder why it is you’re so critical all the time. They may feel attacked, leading them to jump to the defense of themselves or others. An occasional complaint is much easier to swallow than those that seem never-ending.

Paints You as Lazy

Did you ever stop to think that being a downer might send the message to others that you’re lazy or irresponsible? Complainers have a way of shirking responsibility, blaming anyone else for problems to avoid accepting any part of a problem. They also may be a vocal complainer to get out of doing what needs to be done or proactively taking part in a solution to their problems. This is definitely not a message you want to send.

Loss of Trust

Also, people tend to distrust complainers. They may come to believe you would be just as critical of them as you are of the other people you whine about. It’s hard to trust someone who seems to only see the negative side of a situation. If this describes you, it’s important to understand the type of vibe you’re giving off.

Damages Your Reputation

That’s right. This constant complaining is sending all kinds of messages about you, and none of them are positive. The bottom line is that you’re developing a negative reputation among those who regularly hear your complaints. No matter what conclusions they’ve drawn about you and your griping, the result is one that paints you in a bad light.

The fact of the matter is, there are more interpersonal consequences to constant complaining than I have time to mention here. You’re doing damage to your reputation and how you’re seen by others. The good news is that this damage can be lessened and you can overcome it by making the concrete changes you’re learning throughout our challenge.

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Petra Monaco

Petra Monaco

The Rebels Den

Petra Monaco is a published author, coach, mom and breaks the status quo for fun. As a foster kid, she knows the challenges and excuses people make as she rewrote her own story and then worked her way through to become a Master's level therapist. However, after watching her son fight for his life due to a rare genetic disorder and three liver transplants, she now coaches creatives and multi-passionates to stop waiting for “one day” and the “perfect moments’. Petra helps you dive deeply into the heart of things in order to discover your next steps, inspires you to set up your own personal framework so you can break free from fear, doubt, and overwhelm so you can start creating the life you want now. Petra uses her personal story to inspire and motivate people into doing the work they need to do to create change because she believes that your excuses are just avoidance. You can have the cake and eat it too if you're willing to show up for it!
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