Anytime you turn a dream into a goal is also the time the negative committee decides to make an appearance. It’s that annoying self-talk that you have with yourself about how you feel and look, your abilities, ideas, and dreams, and all the reasons why it can’t happen.
And that can also feel like a punch in a gut especially when you start to notice just how much negative self-talk is happening every day. This is your negative committee because just when you try to feel good about yourself, the committee blurts out ” I look fat in those clothes” or “I’m stupid” because I have never anything to contribute to a conversation.
Where does this negative committee come from?
Somewhere in your past, someone made you think or feel like you are not worthy, deserving or enough to turn your dreams into goals. For me it was my foster-mother, always telling me how I would be like my mother and then proceed to tell me how much a failure my mother was.
Take a moment and take not of who in your life has made you ever feel less than – this is how you can start to notice the negative committee taking up space.
I will tell you from my own experience, firing that committee is anything but easy and no matter how many times you fire them, they always find their way back doing the job they are designed to do. But that also just means you have got to show them who’s boss! Them or you!!?!
Because if you believe in your dreams and want to achieve your goals, you owe it to yourself to make sure that they happen. Some of those will be easier than others but all have a bit of that negative committee hanging about the water cooler.
Here are 3 things you can do when the negative committee shows up
- Begin being aware when you are engaging with negative self-talk and what that looks like. What do you say to yourself throughout the day? Have a journal and take note of it.
- Begin to question the committee! What would you feel, think, or say if you heard them talk to one of your friends that way? How valid is what they are trying to tell you? Can you show yourself all that you have achieved and done in your life?
- Change your self-talk and make that Negative Committee shut up. Take that negative statement and turn it around. Instead of saying “I can’t…” ask yourself … “is there anything I can do to …”
When I wrote my first book, the negative committee told me that my English wasn’t good enough – and yet I had earned a Master’s Degree.
When I started my business, the negative committee told me that no one would hire me because I am too weird or over the top – and yet here I am 5 years later with a business still running and clients.
Your self-esteem and confidence won’t improve overnight. Just like most things in life, it takes time and practice. Improving your self-talk, however, will help you feel more control over your life.
One of the best ways to fire the negative committee is through journaling!
Journaling allows you to look at the stories you repeat in your head and that could use some light shining on them so they can emerge out of the shadow. The stories you tell yourself about yourself hold great power over you and depending on how they are told, your life stories can either enlighten or mislead, inspire or discourage.
Journal is a path of self-exploration and challenging yourself to write from a place of honesty that’s often quite intimidating.
Exploring the darker side of things isn’t going to be easy so go at your own pace, take a break when you need to but commit to doing the work.
21 Day Self-Love Challenge
This is for you because you are ready to target the most basic but effective elements of self-care. It is a great way to be motivated for consistency and see the amazing benefits that putting the effort into yourself has to offer.