Every time there’s a decision to create change, it seems the road to the desired outcome is riddled with potholes and roadblocks.
It’s you being tested to see how bad you really want the desired change to actually happen or if you are just going to give up and quit.
The thing about change is that it won’t actually happen until you say “enough is enough” because it’s in that moment you’ve actually achieved emotional rock bottom.
Emotional rock bottom isn’t like the rock bottom we’ve come to know – the $0.02 in your bank account or being homeless – no emotional rock bottom is that point when you can’t go on being the person you’ve been. Or rather it’s the moment you’re ready to be who you are that’s merely been hiding from the world.
In my lifetime, I have had a few of those moments that ended up me leaving my marriage, moving to a new city, and even rocking the boat in other relationships.
The thing that happens is that people are going to say a few things as if a change is something unheard of. When I started to set boundaries about what I would or wouldn’t tolerate any more I heard a lot of “but you used to”. Well yes, I used to but I don’t anymore.
It’s not easy to maneuver change no matter how small or big it feels. And sometimes the smallest change creates the biggest ripple in life. I’ve had people who claimed to be my best friend, choosing to no longer be my friend because … well for so many reasons – the biggest one perhaps being that I don’t tolerate bullshit very well and that playing the victim isn’t my forte anymore.
The difficult roads, however, will lead to amazing destinations to the freedom of being you, and that means letting go of friendships. It’s simply acknowledging that you are no longer available for that doesn’t bring your joy, peace, and happiness in some kind of a way.
Whatever change you are wanting to create, turn this into a goal by being specific of what you want.
Then take a moment to brainstorm some things that need to happen like setting boundaries.
Write out what that looks like i.e. saying no more often.
What’s the payoff by saying no more often? What does that mean? What does that look and feel like?
Go deep with the reflection – and if you need a gentle reminder to help you, there’s a poster for that!