How to rebel through the fears of success and failure
Every day, you have a choice to either feed the fears or go after success.
In my own journey, I have been more afraid of success than I have of failure. I have failed more times than I’d like to admit but I am going to anyway.
Right after I started selling my artwork, I thought it would be a great idea to have a desktop publishing and bookkeeping business. I had all the credentials I needed, the knowledge and the skills to make it happen.
That tanked within a year.
And then, Charmed Butterfly was my brick and mortar store that was supporting the local art community where artists could sell their work.
It was a great idea, wrong time for the town.
Two of those things have one thing in common: fear
Just sharing those failures is a bit scary but at the same time, it’s reminding me that my work was bigger than that and that those two particular events were learning phases for me.
I have a bigger vision and it continues to bring up fear time and time again. And well I am choosing to rebel through it instead of succumbing to it.
But here is what it’s bringing up at various points:
What if I
- lose friends and family
- making more money than my partner
- thinking I won’t have time for yourself
- make more money than my friends
- change because of success
What is the worst that could happen if you find new friends or letting go of people who don’t really support you? I mean, you want to be supported and hanging out with those that don’t believe may not be the best thing for you.
And so, what if you are making more money than your partner? Is that really a bad thing? Will that shift your relationship or will it create room to improve it? Having an open dialogue with your partner is always a good idea.
And just think the more successful you are and money you make, you can hire support for your business and even in your home and boom there you go, more time for you.
But what about the fear of failure?
Are you already expecting to fail so that you are not creating the product or the service? Are you expecting that no one will read your book and so you don’t bother writing it?
I suspect that this old messaging that you have learned since childhood. From your school days and bad grades to either not being hired and even fired. All of which may have said to you that you are not good enough, which is bull.
So how can you move through the fear of success or failure?
Declutter your mind
The best way to declutter your mind is to write all your fears and doubts out of your head. Whether you do this first thing in the morning, anytime of the day or before bed, writing out what’s going on in that head of yours will declutter all the thoughts that aren’t meant to be there. Sure, the fear won’t be completely eliminated but by dumping your thoughts you are actually creating room for new thoughts such as solutions to enter your mind.
This can be huge because maybe you need to forgive a teacher or a former boss so that you can step into your new belief. And forgiveness is for you – not for them. It’s not about forgetting the events that happened – you actually want them because that is where your strength comes from. But until you forgive yourself for those moments it’s going to continue to be a bit challenging. And what do you have to lose?
Be compassionate with yourself and others. This was then and this is now. You have learned and grown so much, don’t hang on to the day you were not hired.
For each moment that you are feeling frustrated with yourself, acknowledge that you only could do the best you knew at that moment. You couldn’t have done better than that.
Own your strength and make a list of all the things you are amazing at and what you do. This can really be an eye-opener for you about you. We as humans who may have not had the most glorious of pasts tend to downplay our strength. I have done that and often still do that. But there does come a point in our lives where we have to just own it.
Acknowledge and celebrate your achievements no matter how big or small.
If you made it out of bed or if you showered despite it being difficult. Celebrate that.
If you were able to communicate your thoughts and feelings, celebrate that. If you made it through the day. Celebrate that. If you were able to communicate your thoughts and feelings, celebrate that. If you made it through the day. Celebrate that.
Landed a new job? Celebrate that.
Acknowledged moments of fears and doubts and made it through? Celebrate that.
Journal about the fears, forgiveness, compassion, and strength that resides within you. Acknowledging your fear is a good thing because then you can look at it like a detective and see where the evidence is in that belief. Chances are that you have done so much more since you received a bad grade or were fired.
And as simple as this sounds there are moments when it’s not because
- you’re doing it alone
- you don’t know where to begin
- you don’t want to admit your fear
And there’s nothing wrong with any of those. But I want you to know that you don’t have to do it alone. When you join The Gathering, I am going to be by your side every step of the way.